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Kanye Currency Is Here


On January 11th the world will be introduced to Coinye West, a cryptocurrency that will hopefully bring digital money to people lacking in tech prowess. Personally, I don’t know much about money. I know that the more money I make the more problems I have, but that’s only because my financial adviser in the 90s was Biggie Smalls. I do know that money has traditionally been backed by the kinds of shiny objects that can make a Eurasian Magpie drool – gold, silver, copper. And while basing money off a human being might seem a little foolish, the truth is that money can be based on anything that has perceived value – tulips, Dave and Buster tickets, Marlboro Miles. So, you could have money based on diamonds, or you could base it off a guy who wears diamonds in his mouth, literally putting money where his mouth is.

That said, Coinye West will not actually be backed by Kanye West. The name was given to the currency because, as the developers said, “we chose Kanye because of his trendsetting abilities and his originality.” The money, like most online currencies, is backed by algorithms and robots and other stuff I don’t understand. A quick glance at their website’s “About” section revealed a pretty hefty mission statement. And, perhaps better than “In God We Trust”, the coin’s motto appears to be: “I don’t know whats better, gettin laid or gettin paid.” A question that has plagued man for centuries. Maybe this currency will provide us with the answers. Though I’m inclined to believe that if you’re good at one, you’re probably good at both.

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