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Cuban Santeros Agree With The Maya: 2012 Is Gonna Suck

Well, it’s official: We’re all going to die this year. The Santeria priests of Cuba agree with the Maya that in 2012, it’s going to get real. A consortium of Cuba’s highest ranking babalawos, (Santeria priests), released a statement last week warning of our impending doom. This year will be ruled by the sign of Baba Ireti Miya, which means “The shadow of the short-lived child”. If the thought of having a year ruled by a baby ghost isn’t scary enough for you, they also said that the African god Oggun will be calling the shots. He’s the god of iron and war. It’s starting to sound like a death metal video.

Santeria is a mix of African Yoruba religion and Catholicism that resulted from the whole slavery thing. Most Cubans practice the religion to some degree. These prophesies eerily line up with predictions the Maya made hundreds of years ago. According to the Maya, the god Quetzalcoatl will return on December 21, 2012 to destroy the world. We figured that it probably wasn’t going to happen, but now that another Latin American faith is saying the same thing…Let’s just say we aren’t making plans for December 22nd.

So, what can we do to stop the end of the world? Is there a mystical equivalent of sending Bruce Willis up into space to destroy the asteroid, like in “Armageddon”? According to the babalawos, you need to take care of your digestive health and try not to hurt your back. Women should also take care of any mentrual irregularities and avoid spontaneous abortions…however you do that. Basically, if you eat your fiber, lift with your legs, take a low-dose birth control pill, and don’t fall down stairs while pregnant, you should be fine.Take that ghost baby!

Via Fox News Latino.

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