By Jack Tomas
“Premium Rush” comes out this week and I am totally psyched. Firstly, a movie about a bike messenger – played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt – being chased through the streets of New York by crooked cops sounds awesome, (I live in NYC and I can tell you those bike messengers are crazy). Secondly, the movie also stars the ridiculously beautiful Dania Ramirez. I’ve had a little bit of a thing for Dania since I saw her in “X-Men: Last Stand”. Not that she’s only a pretty face, (and a pretty everything else). Dania has shown some acting chops playing both a bad ass villain and strong but vulnerable characters. So, let’s celebrate all things Dania with 5 of her most bad ass roles.
Maya Herrera on “Heroes”
In “Heroes”, Dania plays one half of a pair of twins from Guatemala with dangerous powers. When stressed or frightened she secretes this horrible black poison that kills anyone around her. The poison starts pouring from her eyes and looks like black bloody tears. She reminds me of that creepy statue of a blood crying saint your grandmother had, (all Latino grandma’s have one of these. They hand them out when their first grandkid is born). Maya’s brother is the only antidote. Maya eventually becomes a villain, because what else can you be if your power is that you secrete poison? Dania was downright frightening as a walking death machine. Do not make her upset.
Callisto in “X-Men: Last Stand”
I’ll be honest, “X-Men: Last Stand” was a disappointing ending to an otherwise pretty good trilogy, but Dania was really good in it. In fact, this is the film where a lot of people first became familiar with her. She plays Callisto, an evil mutant fighting for Magneto’s mutant-supremacist group. She spends a lot of the movie fighting Storm, played by Halle Berry. Now, as all men know, two women fighting is pretty darn sexy. Add to that equation that it’s Dania and Halle and you have one hot cat fight happening. Like in “Heroes”, Dania plays an extremely convincing villain. In many ways being the baddy is harder than playing a good guy. You have to strike a balance between being evil and having the audience like you. Dania does that well.
Alex in “Entourage”
In “Entourage” Dania plays an aspiring entrepreneur who gets dumb little Turtle to help her expand a brand of tequila owned by her family. She also begins dating Turtle, which should have been a red flag. As a chubby goofy guy myself, I know that a girl like Dania does not go out with the likes of Turtle…or me. It’s hard to tell whether Alex set out to screw Turtle over or if that was just the price of doing business. Dania plays an effective hard ass in a series that often shows women as either weak morons or sex objects that only exist to be fondled by Vinnie Chase and his gang of leach-like Queens mooches. Dania showed them.
Blanca Selgado in “The Sopranos”
“The Sopranos”, in my opinion, is in the top 5 greatest TV shows of all time. In their last season, Dania played Blanca, the forewoman on a construction site where Tony’s bonehead son AJ works. Blanca begins a relationship with AJ that the family is none too happy about. She’s not Italian, she is older than him, and is a single mom. It presents a real life scenario that is all too common in which a non-Latino family has trouble accepting a son or daughter’s Latino significant other. They do eventually come around, but the relationship is doomed from the start. Dania does some great work in the show showing both an intense vulnerability and the strength of someone who has had to deal with a whole truckload of crap in her life.
Selena in “American Reunion”
Dania isn’t all evil mutants and single moms. In the underrated fourth chapter of the “American Pie” franchise, she plays a bartender that befriends the gang during their class reunion weekend, (yes, it’s been that long since “American Pie”). Selena is a buddy of Allyson Hannigan’s character from band camp. Let your mind drift to the possibilities of that knowing what we know about what goes on in band camp. Dania hooks up with Finch, who for once decides to steer clear of MILFs and date someone his own age. Who can blame him? Dania is smoking hot.