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What Do You Do With The Drug Cartel’s Exotic Pets?

We’re big animal lovers here at Tu Vez. We think anyone that hurts or abuses animals should be hit on the head with the nearest sharp rock. Still, a lot of pet owners have to abandon their animals through no fault of their own. You know, like if they get thrown in jail. What happens to their pets? Hopefully, a friend or relative takes them in so they don’t get sent to a shelter. Mexico and Colombia have been cracking down on the drug cartels. Several arrests have been made including Jesus “The King” Zambada, head of the Sinaloa drug cartel. The police seized all of the crazy stuff at his many houses. Among the machine guns, drugs, money and other fun, they also seized all of his pets. But what do you do with the animal if it’s a tiger, a lion, or a crocodile?

The heads of drug cartels love to collect exotic animals in menageries. It’s part of their effort to show how rich they are. Why buy your sister a stuffed giraffe when you can get her a real giraffe? Often, these animals are kept in gilded cages but are improperly fed and cared for. What does a cartel thug know about proper nutrition for a leopard? The zoos in Mexico are almost to capacity with the exotic animals that have been seized by law enforcement. These animals are finally getting the care they need. Still, they’ve been through a lot. It’s rumored that the cartel bosses sometimes feed their rivals to the tigers and other predators. It is known that Pablo Escobar used to throw his enemies to his collection of hippos. What do you do with a man eater, (That’s a predator that’s gotten a taste for human blood, not the song by Hall and Oates.)

We think you build a nice arena in the Roman style, but updated. You know, comfy seats, jumbotron, hot dogs, beer, etc. Then you feed these evil cartel d-bags to their animals. We guarantee those tigers have been waiting to bite their faces off. Honestly, who would miss these guys? You charge admission to the arena and put it up on pay-per-view. You then use the money to pay for the care of the cartel’s animals. Also, you can give some monetary compensation to the families of the thousands of people the cartels have murdered. Create a college fund for their kids or something.

It’s just an idea.

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