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Exorcisms May End Mexico’s Drug Wars

When law and order fail to keep the peace, exorcism just might do the trick. According to Mexican religious leaders, the Devil and Sante Muerte are behind the rise of evil in the country, and so the most logically-sound route to peace is to evict demons from region. Currently in the country there are around eight million followers of Santa Muerte. You know life is bleak when the closest thing to a hero among eight million people is a saint of death. Santa Muerte’s mainstream acceptance came during a time when the economy was tanking, and the Catholic church was embroiled in more sex abuse scandals than Eddie ‘Piolin’ Sotelo on a coke binge. Realizing that Jesus and the Virgin Mary weren’t street savvy enough to handle current problems found in Mexico’s daily life, the people needed a new face to represent their struggle, and who better to fit that bill?

As Santa Muerte’s stock has risen, so has violent crime associated with the drug trade. These days, Mexico’s exorcists are working over time to drive out the demons that plague their country. No word on where the demons will go once they have been forced out, but I would guess that they might end up heading to the United States. For many decades, illegal immigration has caused quite the controversy in the U.S., so I can’t help but wonder what will happen when demons begin crossing the border and taking all the good possession jobs away from U.S. demons. I hope that exorcists in the United States will boycott exorcisms wherein demons can not produce proper documentation. I know that sounds absurd, and that’s because it is.

Joking aside, it’s a sad when a country has to resort to exorcism as a legitimate attempt to stop violent crime. If “operation exorcism” fails, I don’t want to imagine what’s next on their list of possible solutions.

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