Hollywood is a very strange place that does very strange things. Back in the day they used to make Hispanic actors like Anthony Quinn and Martin Sheen change their names and pretend to be white. On the flip side, Hollywood has developed this annoying knack to take white actors and cast them in Hispanic roles. We’re here to take up issue with the latter. No, we’re not going to rant about the lack of Hispanic representation in media. Our beef is the terrible Spanish accents these supposed professionals use for their roles. Below, we’ve compiled the five worst offenders. If you can think of some more let us know in the comments.
Yeah, alright. Marlon Brando is easily one of the best actors of the 20th century (definitely top five). But even studying under Strasberg couldn’t help Don Corleone with his role as the iconic Mexican revolutionary. He sounded like Speedy Gonzalez with a speech impediment. Hell, his mustache had a better Mexican accent than he did.
Anaconda is turd-colored stain on film history. We only saw this flick because it had J. Lo (back when she was hot) running around in the Amazon. Still, the awfulness of this movie is no excuse for Jon Voight’s terrible Paraguayan accent. He sounded more like a Hungarian who’s been kicked in the head by a horse. We were glad when the snake strangled him so we didn’t have to hear him desecrate our beautiful language any further.
Before you call us out on hating The Princess Bride, stop it. We love the film. What we don’t love, however, is Inigo Montoya’s awful Spanish accent. The actor Mandy Patinkin sounds exactly like who he is: a Jewish guy from Brooklyn trying to sound like a Spaniard. Perhaps the six-fingered man killed Inigo’s father because he too couldn’t roll his Rs properly.
Let’s face it. Sean Connery doesn’t even try with accents. In Hunt for Red October, he sounded like a Scottish man playing a Russian character. In The Highlander,he sounded like a Scottish man playing a Spanish character. Even worse than Sir Connery’s effort in accents is his knack for wanting to throw in a Spanish word or two. It’s just plain awful. Stop it, Sean. Case in point: Him telling Christopher Lambert “Let’s see what you’ve learned, pendejo (pronounced pain-day-how)” That alone made Cervantes come back to life, cry, and then drop dead again.
Tony Montana’s accent in Scarface is the worse thing to happen since Fidel Castro decided to stop shaving in 1955. Seriously, did Brian De Palma ever consider introducing Pacino to an actual Cuban before they started shooting? He sounded like Sylvester the Cat doing an impression of Desi Arnaz. Again, Pacino is a great actor and we love Scarface but that accent is so bad and ridiculous, it makes us want to introduce him to our little friend. Actually, come to think of it, his butchering of the Spanish language goes beyond this flick. Exhibit B: his accent in Carlito’s Way. Al, stop it. Seriously, you’re killin’ us.