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Behold Sofia Vergara’s New Swimsuit Collection!


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Sofia Vergara is launching a new line of swimsuits and other summer clothes at K-Mart and, much to the delight of every human on the planet, she is modelling the clothes. Of particular interest is Sofia in the leopard print number in this gallery. It is…sublime. I keep thinking that Hollywood is going to show me some new up-and-coming actress that is hotter than Sofia, but it never happens. Sofia is the sexiest woman on the face of God’s green Earth. Her curves are single-handedly shattering the hegemony of skinny, flat-assed, White models and actresses on the hearts of America. And no wonder. The rest of the outfits have one thing in common: plunging necklines. And that means mucho cleavage, mi amigos. I don’t care if you are gay or straight, male or female, you want to admire Sofia’s chesticles. They are the Platonic form of female mammaries. I mean, Modern Family is funny and all but Sofia’s girls are responsible for at least a 20% boost in the ratings.

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