Today is Mardi Gras, the last day for excess and debauchery before Lent. Here in the States, it’s usually celebrated by getting wasted beyond belief and throwing beads at girls willing to expose their breasts. In Brazil, they say, “Beads? We Don’t need no stinking beads!” If you’re not familiar with the insanity that is the Rio Carnival, just know that it involves hot, scantily-clad girls wearing feathered headdresses as they dance on top of floats. It makes “The Big Easy” look like “The Big Bore.” We’re not entirely sure what Brazilian Carnival has to do with Lent, but we’ll take it. Thanks for giving hot girls a reason to wear next to nothing and party all night long, Jesus.