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Good For What Ails You


Last week I wrote about the Festival Gastronómico del Gato, a Peruvian festival that celebrates eating feline meat. As I was looking up the particulars of the festival, I kept reading about a belief that cat meat could cure certain conditions, specifically, asthma, bronchitis and infertility. I can’t say if this is true, but I know I’ve never been prescribed Mr. Mittens when I had a bit of a cough. Maybe if I had worse health insurance. Let’s take a look at a few other foods from around the world that people eat for unverified health benefits. Caution if you have a weak stomach.

Tong Zi Dan or Virgin Boy Eggs

These eggs are eaten after being boiled in the urine of young, virgin boys. They are said to help ailments like arthritis and heat stroke. Personally, I’d rather die a slow, agonizing bone-melting death than eat one of these… but I’ve always been a picky eater.

Bird’s Nest Soup

The beautiful White-nest Swiflet spends about 35 days spitting up saliva to create its nest, which is then stolen from it and made into a belly-warming soup. The soup is said to improve the voice, help with digestion and raise libido. If someone is willing to eat a bird’s nest to get horny, I imagine they’re either really terrible or really great in bed. Either way, I’m sure their breath is nothing to write home about.

Snake Wine

Next time someone brags about how they ate the worm from a bottle of Mescal, pull out a bottle of this and see what they’re made of. The wine is said to cure conditions like farsightedness and hair loss, plus carrying a bottle of this around will make you the coolest person at the party.

Deer Penis

Here’s a meal that will enhance one’s virility and improve strength. This feels like something your frat mates would make you eat during Hell Week. If you’re worried about getting stronger, maybe try a few squat thrusts first.

Witchetty Grub

These grubs eventually turn into huge moths, so maybe it’s best to eat them before they eat you. Also, if I told you that people compare the taste to scrambled eggs, I don’t know if that would make you want to eat them more, or eat eggs less. On the plus side, they’re chock full of protein!

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