by Lucas Molandes
Oscar Wilde said: “By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.” Maybe it’s the anonymity of being online, or maybe it’s the result of watching one too many videos of Russian kittens smoking cigarettes, but thanks to the internet, we’re seeing just how large that ignorant community is. One thing I’ve learned from the many online news sources I visit, no matter what the topic, someone will inevitably turn the message board conversation into obtuse rhetoric. That being said, here are a few screen shots to back up my observation:
This is a recurring article where someone from CNN writes on common myths associated with a certain kind of food. That seems fairly benign, right? Apparently “Jim Justice” took this CNN article on Mexican food myths as another chance for the “liberal media” to disempower the WHITE RACE. Here’s his comment:
Settle down Jimbo! I can tell you’re a sensitive soul. I’m not sure what food white people like, specifically, but if you had read more articles on the website, you would have seen CNN had recently showcased clam chowder, bologna sandwiches, and peach pie. Maybe none of those were “white” enough for you, but I’m sure if you wait, they’ll eventually put up recipes show you how to properly marinate your badger meat in Mountain Dew. Until then, try to relax, and remember Mexican food isn’t the reason you are your own grandpa.
Something about natural disasters really brings out the wackos. This past week we had hurricanes, earthquakes and Steve Jobs announcing his resignation from Apple. The common theme among all of these events? Clearly God is paving the way for end times. Choosing which comment to screen capture was difficult, that is until I found this one:
Poor jmat13, sometimes ignorance can awe us into quiet submission. If the name Warren Jeffs sounds familiar, it’s because he was recently sentenced to life for sexually assaulting his “spiritual brides.” It should be noted that “spiritual brides” is the classy way to say “underage girls.” One thing we can gather from commenter Woodburn (if that is his real name), is that this comment will be entered in a police report after he goes through a retirement community with a pick axe.
But can you blame him? With public figures like these:
It’s good to know that acts of God can be well prepared for and monitored by the Weather Channel (aka God’s Paparazzi).
Well, here’s a story that will probably bring out the best and brightest. Apparently Obama’s uncle is being held by immigration after being arrested. Allegedly, he is in the country illegally. When a story like this hits, we see that most people with anti immigration opinions could be reduced to a pull string doll, in that they all have the same thoughts on the subject. Case in point:
According to Tommyudo, the best things in life are driving an uninsured car and living off of food stamps. Talk about high aspirations! I could write more on the subject, but I think this clip from comedian Doug Stanhope (who lives on the U.S./Mexico border) says enough.
Despite the fact that the above clip is three years old. Not much has changed.
Lucas Molandes is a stand-up comedian that has made appearances at the prestigious Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham,” and CNN”s “Not Just Another Cable News Show.”