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Jenna Jameson Talks Tito Ortiz

Usually when Jenna Jameson talks about a hung man, it’s all in good fun. Unfortunately, when TMZ caught up with the retired/not-retired porn queen to talk about Tito Ortiz’s recent DUI arrest, Jenna Jameson had this to say: “Slowly but surely he’ll hang himself. Not literally, but figuratively.” Early on Monday morning, the former UFC champ crashed his Porche on LA’s 405 highway. When the police put him in a breathalyzer lock, Ortiz blew a .12, which is way out of the sober weight-class limit of .08. Tito was released later in the day after posting bond, which was set at 15,000 big ones.

So, Tito is able to throw that kind of money around just to get out of police custody, but Jenna Jameson has had to return to porn to be able to fight for the custody of her children? It’s like they say, “when God shuts a door, He opens a window.” I suppose I never knew that window was a window to her new webcam site where fans can pony up some cash to see Jenna Jameson in various states of undress. While Jenna Jameson and Tito are clearly going through a rough patch, it’s crucial that we remember who the real victims are here: the children.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would talk about the hardships they endured to put food on your plate? Now imagine if your mom was a porn star who had to spread her legs to put honey-roasted ham on the table. Imagine if your dad had to go to the neck-breaking factory to keep you in new clothes? Their parents seriously have the most physically demanding jobs in the world. Falling off tables. Sore asses. Skinned knees? And that’s just Jenna Jameson’s list of job complaints. Even more than the kids, I feel bad for anyone the kids try to date. Think about the hell Tito will unleash upon the first boy who gazes upon his daughter with the slightest hint of teenage sexual frustration. I don’t even want to think about how graphic the “sex-ed” talk Jenna Jameson will have with her kids one day. Oh well, this is why we have therapy.

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