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Kanye West Proposes To Kim Kardashian On A Jumbotron

It’s official: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, the two most annoying people on the planet, are engaged. Our lord and savior Yeezus rented out AT&T Park in San Francisco and spent an estimated 150k in order to propose to his baby mama in front of 100 invited guests. The whole thing was planned by a party planner called Stanlee Gatti and included a symphony orchestra and fireworks. The ring he got her has a 15 karat diamond and is probably worth around 8 million. This is five karats less than the 20 karat ring she got from her last victi…husband…Kris Humphries. I just have two questions: Why is everyone making such a big deal about this unoriginal proposal and how long will this infernal coupling last?

I mean, take out the fact that he rented the park and he basically just proposed on the jumbotron at a sporting venue. How many times have you been to a game where some dude asks for a lady’s hand on the big screen? It’s not exactly original, Kanye. The only novel thing is that it was “private” and he didn’t have to share the moment with 60,000 Giants’ fans. Private is a relative term seeing as her whole family as well as 90 other people were there. Not to mention the E! News crew that was on hand to shoot the event so that the whole thing can be shown on TV at some point. These two do nothing unless it gets them publicity. I’m surprised that baby North West’s conception wasn’t a pay-per-view event. Odds makers are estimating that the marriage will last less than two years IF they even get to the altar. Kim is only 33 and has already been divorced twice and you have to wonder if there is any room in Kanye’s life for another person with his ego taking up so much space. Personally, I don’t see why he even bothered to propose. He has her vagina on demand and a baby, why shell out for a ring and wedding now? Like my abuela always said, “¿Por qué comprar el cerdo entero si sólo te interesa la salchicha?“, “Why buy the whole hog when all you want is a little sausage?”

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