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La Macarena: When The World Went Insane

Life is full of both misery and joy, which is why remembering the past can be extremely painful. We relive the memories of our worst moments. Sometimes, the pain has lessened with time, while at other moments, those recollections feel like a fresh open wound. A perfect example of the latter is the “Macarena.” Let’s face it. You’re guilty of doing the stupid “Macarena” dance back in 1996. It’s okay. We did too.

The decline of dance as an art form began in 1993 when the Spanish duo Los Del Rio recorded “Macarena.” The original version of the song was a standard rhumba-flamenca. It was all in Spanish and lacked the annoying female vocals and the terrible dance. Then, in 1996, The Bayside Boys did a remix of the song. We couldn’t find any information on The Bayside Boys, so we are going to assume that the band is comprised of Satan and Beelzebub. There is also no information on who invented the accompanying dance. Again, we are going to assume it came out of the flaming pit of hell, where the souls of the damned were forced to dance the “Macarena” for eternity.

The song was everywhere in 1996. You couldn’t escape it. Whenever it came on, anyone within earshot began doing the dance. It was as if the whole world was under some kind of zombie spell. The song stayed at the top of Billboard’s top 100 for 14 weeks and is ranked as the #1 Latin song of all time. By 1997, it had sold 11 million copies worldwide. Los Del Rio still receive 250K a year in royalties from the abomination they brought into the world. Even when the revolt against the song began in 1997, there was no defeating it. It simply morphed into a song played at weddings, bar mitzvahs, and cruise ships. We as a species have to face the painful truth about our involvement with the “Macarena.” Only then can we move on with our lives. Those that don’t remember the past will be be doomed to repeat it. Never again. If you are at a party and the DJ starts playing it, smash all his equipment and punch him in the face.

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