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Conservative Group Cancels Mock Immigration Sting

“I have been called an ‘Uncle Tom.’ I have received emails and comments via social media filled with obscenity. The reactions of some who claim that YCT is creating a demeaning or degrading environment on campus have been truly disgraceful.” – Lorenzo Garcia, chairman of the University of Texas chapter of the Young Conservatives of Texas.

Anyone up for a mock immigration sting operation? Lorenzo Garcia and his band of merry conservatives were trying to stage such an event this Wednesday, which would have awarded 25 dollar gift cards to students that could find illegal immigrants (volunteers wearing “illegal immigrant” labels) around the University of Texas campus. The publicity stunt was to be the YCT’s attempt at “educating” students about immigration. Why not just create a “Where’s Walberto” children’s book. I guarantee that would have sparked just as much intellectual discourse as this attempt at conservative larping.

Let’s back up a sec, okay? A 25 dollar gift card, seriously? Gift cards are what you give your girlfriend right before she breaks up with you for being a cheap little turd. Holy hell, the only way Lorenzo Garcia be slimier is if he were the gooey center of a bukkake circle. All I’d learn from this social experiment is just how little compensation people need to throw a fellow human being under the deportation bus. Would you be willing to report undocumented citizens for a 25 dollar gift card to Red Lobster? We are talking about a person’s life here, but who needs compassion for your fellow man when you have a whole basket of cheesy biscuits? Oh they are delicious. If anyone ever gives you a gift card as compensation for any work, spit right in their lizard eyes. Both of them.

According to Lorenzo Garcia, people are labeling him an “Uncle Tom.” I don’t agree with this. Most people have never read the book, and so they don’t understand how much weight that term actually carries. Uncle Tom falls into that category of words like “child molester” or “racist”. Once someone uses that word against you, no matter how good of a person you are, you’ll always have a shadow of doubt over your head. However, “Uncle Tom” is the correct term here. Some people might go for the less traditional “Tio Taco”, but stay away from that one. There is no cultural precedent for that word and it undermines the actual historical significance of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. In fact, the only definition of Tio Taco on the internet is found on the Urban Dictionary, which is only marginally credible. And, there’s already a Tio Taco restaurant, which seems to get decent yelp ratings.

Personally, I don’t think that Lorenzo Garcia is an Uncle Tom type of person. I think he’s a Don King type of person – an attention seeking promoter. The group is located in Austin Texas, which is a very liberal town. This stunt was designed to receive negative attention from the start. But if you’re someone like Lorenzo Garcia, there’s no such thing as negative attention, which is what you’d expect from the kind of person that hands out 25 dollar gift cards as incentive in a racially charged witch hunt.

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