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Mad About Al Madrigal

by Lucas Molandes

Immigration is all over the news these days, yet anytime I watch an illegally downloaded episode of The Daily Show there’s no coverage to be found. Why is that? What could be more hilarious than the mass deportation and destruction of families based on their race and nationality? Not only is the topic perfect for slapstick satire, but The Daily Show has one of the smartest Latino voices working for them – Mr. Al Madrigal. With the help of show’s writing staff, he’d have no problem tearing down the sandbags of ignorance currently being tossed by our political leaders at the unending tidal wave of inevitable Latin American expansion. So why have we only seen Mr. Madrigal a few times since he became the Senor Latino Correspondent? ¡Ay, caramba!

First off, I should back up and say that I know I don’t have to illegally download The Daily Show, but I do it out of solidarity for my illegal people who are being kicked out of this country. Sure, I’m only half-Mexican, and I can’t speak Spanish, and I get made fun of because my pronunciation is really bad. Once I ordered “mulletes” by saying “mullets” (like the haircut). But all that is beside the point. What I’m saying is that Al Madrigal knows my pain. Like him (and Blade), I’ve never really fit into either world that birthed me. Am I white? Maybe. Am I Mexican? Maybe. All I know is that anytime I look into the mirror all I see is a human being. And that’s what I see anytime I see people like this:

Look at how degrading that is. He’s a human being. Damn it. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry today, but I also promised myself I wouldn’t drink before noon today. Looks like I’m 0 for 2. We need The Daily Show to give  Madrigal the air-time necessary to voice to the injustices we are facing. We need to show that all Latinos are individuals who cannot be kicked out or replaced!

That being said, Daily Show, I would gladly replace Al Madrigal as your Senor Latino Corespondent if it’s about the money. Not only do I live in New York, but I will do his job for less pay and work longer hours if that’s what it takes to get a Latino on your show. I’m not saying that I want Al off of television for good. I know he’ll be fine. He’s busy with a successful comedy career. He’s probably too busy on the road doing shows in front of hundreds of people every night, making fat stacks of cash. Women are probably throwing bras at him, and men in Tommy Bahama shirts are constantly hounding to autograph their dick pics. Being a comedian is a very lucrative and glorious profession. I, on the other hand, could use the work. Check this out:

I bet they won't even be able to tell the difference.

See how good I look in a suit and tie? I put that outfit together in, like, 9 minutes. Sure there’s a few wine stains on the shirt, and an I’m not wearing pants. But as long as you don’t pan down, no one has to know I’m in my tighty-half-whiteys.

So Daily Show, please think it over. Let’s take jobs away from Mexicans by giving them to Mexicans. Aside from getting day drunk while wearing underwear, I can’ think of anything more American than that. USA USA USA!

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