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Mariachi Hero: The Latest Racist Game For The iPhone!

Apple continues its trend of approving terribad racist iPhone/iPad apps. This time around, it’s Mariachi Hero. No, this particular app has nothing to do with the Robert Rodriguez’s film. This game’s all about being a pistolero with missing teeth who wears a serape and sombrero, and rocks a bandoleer. Oh yeah, and you kill cockroaches. Lots of them.

Unlike Smuggle Truck, we actually decided to try this game out. Why? Because we wanted to see what all the fuzz is about. Also, we were extremely bored. The premise is as follows: El Mariachi, the main character, stands in a circle as droves of cockroaches try to attack him (it’s like the cockroaches are illegal immigrants and El Mariachi is the United States, you guys!). The object of the game is, as we stated above, to kill as many of them as you can. Extra points are awarded if you do your killing to the beat of the music, or if you grab a flying tequila bottle. But be careful! You want to make sure that in your cockroach-thwarting, you allow Mr. Nacho– a sombrero-wearing nacho chip– pass through the circle safely.

We gotta be honest. Playing this crap wasn’t very easy for us. Not because of how racist it is, mind you, but because it’s just straight up f-cking awful. It’s poorly designed and the gameplay is wonky at best. The game doesn’t respond particularly well when you tap your iPhone screen, which defeats the purpose of the game because YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TAPPING THE SCREEN NONSTOP!

Point being, if you were mildly entertaining the idea of purchasing Mariachi Hero, don’t bother. At this rate, you’re better off spending your $.99 on whatever new racist app Apple approves instead of on this piece of crap.

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