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New iPhone App Will Quit Your Job For You

Want to say goodbye to your job, but you’re not sure how to craft the perfect message? You know, the kind of message that says, “hey, I hate how much this job sucks the life out of me, and I hate my co-workers, but please give me a good reference!” Well say hello to the Quit Your Job app for the iPhone. The app acts like a working class Cyrano de Bergerac, which means that after taking a few pieces of information about how miserable you are at work, it crafts the perfect goodbye message – leaving you with more time to hit the beach, or the unemployment line, or the pipe, or all three! Who cares, you’re unemployed. Carpe diem! While I respect what the app does, I prefer the classic no-call-no-show method of quitting. Call me old fashioned.

I understand that there may be some people that are morally opposed to the Quit Your Job app. Sometimes you gotta man-up and look your boss right in his small, beady eyes and tell him just how much of a douche he really is. No matter how far technology advances, there will never be an app that can replace the satisfaction of quitting your job in a glorious display of pent up rage. I can respect that. But hey, it’s not like the app is encouraging you to quit your job. Or worse, it’s not like the app is helping you break up with your significant other via text. There’s another app for that, created by the same company that created the Quit Your Job, appropriately titled BreakupText. What a wonderful time to be a passive aggressive, non-confrontational human being.

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