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Penelope Cruz Addicted To Breastfeeding

And the award for Mother of the Year goes to Penelope Cruz. In a recent article, the beautiful mother of two confessed, “[Breastfeeding] is addictive. I was breastfeeding my son 13 months, and I plan to do the same with my daughter. It’s hard when the day comes when you have to stop.” For those of you who are curious, guys, 13 months is considered a healthy amount of time for a mother to breastfeed her human baby. In fact, guys, there was a woman in the UK that breast fed her human children beyond five years of age. That might make some readers grimace, but I bet those kids have bones stronger than Wolverine. While it’s great to see Penelope Cruz enjoying motherhood, I’m a little concerned to hear her joking about being addicted. I’m not sure if Dr. Drew has dealt with celebrities addicted to breastfeeding, but he’d better look into this. I know people call pot a gateway drug. I don’t want to know what gateway breastfeeding opens up. Maybe it leads to crystal meth, or maybe it just leads to benders of bookmarking Pinterest pages. There are definitely a lot of questions here, but one thing is for sure: I’m going to have to clear out my internet search history after looking up all this stuff about breastfeeding. I’ve already been asked to leave the library twice today. Penelope Cruz also brought up how she’s able to burn nearly 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding. To put that in perspective, a person could swim for an hour and burn less calories than Penelope Cruz burns just by being awesome. Do you realize how many extra McGriddles a person could eat in a week and still not gain any weight? If there was ever a reason I wished I could experience the joy of motherhood, this is it. The only thing I love more than the smile on a baby’s face is a McGriddle.

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