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Puerto Rico To Raise Legal Drinking Age

Facing pressure from the federal government, Puerto Rico is expected to raise the legal drinking age from 18 to 21 years of age. While some say this measure will help reduce alcohol dependency among young people in Puerto Rico, I say it sets a bad precedent. Giving in to peer pressure is how most people get into trouble with drugs and alcohol in the first place. Stand tall, Puerto Rico! If all the other U.S. territories jumped off a bridge, would you? Who cares if you’re losing 11 million dollars a year from the federal Department of Transportation because you haven’t raised the drinking age.

That’s right, every year Puerto Rico loses 11 million federal dollars for not raising the legal drinking age to 21. Sadly, the country’s economy could really use the bribe, I mean funding. In 2011, a buttload – 1.5 percent – of the country’s population, mostly young, educated people, left the island in search of employment. If this trend continues, it’s only a matter of time before the island’s only remaining inhabitants are underage, misfit drinkers. It will be chaos. It will be anarchy. And, most likely, it will become a reality show on FOX.

I don’t care if Puerto Rico raises the drinking age. I’m old enough to drink regardless, and I don’t live in Puerto Rico. However, I think there are benefits to raising the legal age. In my days of going to bars, I’ve seen numerous people on their 21st birthday getting hammered until they hurl pink spew with the violent force of an uncapped fire hydrant. Why is it pink? Probably because they’ve been drinking fruity beverages all night because they can’t handle the taste of alcohol yet. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you have to be a bad drinker. Sadly, if Puerto Rico does raise its drinking age, the real victims here are the people who just turned 18. They’ve just barely gotten a taste of sweet booze, and raising the legal age will take that away from them. Fortunately, I’ve got a solution.

If this law is passed, Puerto Rico should allow anyone that is currently 18 the right to keep drinking. But they should do it like we do with driving learners permits in the U.S. Anyone between the ages of 18 and 21 can drink. However, they can only do it if they’re with a professionally licensed drinker. Drinking under proper supervision means they can learn to be a better drinker so that when they turn 21 and are released into the wilds of adulthood, they don’t blast a belly full of piña colada all over my shoes while I’m trying to hit on some last call strange. That’s not cool.

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