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Ron Jeremy Rum? Ewww…

When perusing the aisles of your local liquor store, there are certain names that stand for quality: Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo. But now a new name will be joining these storied brands…Ron Jeremy.

That’s right, boys and girl! The legendary porn star Ron Jeremy is coming out with his own line of rum. It will be called Ron de Jeremy (How long did it take you to come up with that one, marketing guys?) On the website it talks about the fine aging process, the amber hues of the liquor, and the fine craftsmanship of respected Cuban distiller Don Pancho Fernandez.

One quick question: who the hell wants to drink something named after Ron Jeremy? The thought of liquids and Ron Jeremy wants to make us vom in our mouths. We don’t care if it’s the greatest rum on Earth, tasting of tropical nights and unicorn tears. You bet your ass we will never drink this. When we think of Ron Jeremy, we can think of the hairy, greasy, man-beast, not fine, well crafted spirits. Being famous for having a large dong doesn’t qualify you to be a spokesperson for anything other than that Enzyte natural male enhancement pill.

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