By Jack Tomas
It is a scientifically proven fact that Salma Hayek is one of the most beautiful women in human history. Anyone who disagrees doesn’t have a pulse. Actually, we think even ghosts think she’s hot. But she’s more than just a pretty face. She’s also a really good actress, able to do both drama and comedy equally. On top of that, she is a director, producer, writer, and entrepreneur. Salma is a big player in a business that’s still mainly run by men. White men, at that. Salma could have just been a pretty face that was forgotten after she hit 35. She’s going on a 25 year career, which is amazing for anyone, not to mention a Latina. So, we thought we’d pay tribute to one of our favorite ladies by making this list of our top 5 favorite Salma Hayek movies.
Salma’s turn as Frida Kahlo is possibly her most amazing performance. In particular, her making us all ignore the fact that someone as hot as her was playing someone as not-hot as Frida. It’s a movie Salma spent years trying to get made. She put up a lot of her own money to give Julie Taymor the resources she needed to make the film. The movie is visually stunning, and Salma shows her acting chops as the ever-suffering Frida. If you haven’t seen it, do it.
The second chapter in Robert Rodriguez’s “El Mariachi” trilogy co-stars Salma as El Mariachi’s girlfriend Carolina. She shows that on top of dramatic and comedic acting, she can also do action. She kicks some serious narco ass in this movie. Also, this film has one of the steamiest love scenes we’ve ever seen. She and Antonio Banderas have crazy chemistry. It helps that they are probably the two hottest Hispanics ever.
Salma made the move to TV producer with “Ugly Betty”. The show was based on the Colombian show, “Betty La Fea”, which Salma helped to adapt for American TV. It followed the adventures of, well, ugly Betty, as she tries to make her way in the fashion world. Salma guest starred in several episodes as Sofia Reyes, a firebrand feminist writer. She also was an actress on a bad telenovela that the characters watch on the show. It’s a show withing a show, like “Inception” except hotter.
In NBC’s “30 Rock”, Salma played Elisa, Jack Donaghy’s girlfriend. It must be intimidating to work off of one of the greatest comedic casts on TV. Salma holds her own with Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and the rest as the passionate Latina nurse. Though Salma only starred in a few episodes, she was the best love interest the show has ever had. Largely because we imagine that the progeny of Bladwin and Hayek would be so glorious, the baby could cure cancer just be looking at you.
This is not a good movie. Also, we blame it for a lot of that steampunk nonsense that litters the Internet. Still, it’s an entertaining film to watch while half drunk on a Sunday afternoon after football is done. In this film, Salma is the sexy daughter of a not-sexy scientist who has been kidnapped by an evil general to build a giant spider machine. She teams up with Will Smith…blah, blah, blah. Really, it’s about watching Salma in a can can outfit.