site stats


Snorting Smarties: Are Your Kids Sugar Fiends?

Is there anything more innocent than a child? They’re energetic. They’re full of wonder. And, according to a school in Rhode Island, they really love to snort lines of crushed Smarties candy. Wait. Say what? I’ll admit that I have a lot of fond memories of my childhood, but I don’t remember ever saying to myself, “I love how cool cocaine makes me feel, but I really wish it would give me diabetes too.” Sadly, if a kid gets hooked on the booger sugar, diabetes may be the least of their problems. In a warning e-mail sent from the Rhode Island school, snorting Smarties can cause nose bleeds, lung problems, and, in some cases, may lead to an infestation of maggots in one’s nose. And in high school, there’s no one lower on the social totem pole than the kid with maggot nose.

I used to think it was great to be a kid because you really couldn’t ruin your life by doing something dumb. Sure, you might get detention or get grounded cause you set off fireworks in a confessional booth at church. But hey, you’re young. Walk it off. However, when new levels of stupidity – like snorting Smarties – are being discovered every year, it makes me miss the good old days when kids just hit each other in the balls with exploding airbags. Sure that was dumb, but at least taking a crotch shot meant there was a better chance of them not being able to breed. Even if a kid gets maggot nose, my sympathy will only go to the parents. They thought the most awkward conversation they would have to have with their kids would involve penises and vaginas. Nope. With these kids, it looks like having the future ahead of you may become a thing of the past. At least this kid gives me some hope.

Promoted Content

More About: ,,

0 Responses to "Snorting Smarties: Are Your Kids Sugar Fiends?"