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Sonoran Government Bans Stupid Baby Names

In a landmark piece of legislation the government of the Mexican province of Sonora has released a list of banned baby names. The names on the document will no longer be accepted on any birth certificates in the state. The idea is that it will help cut down on bullying. I believe that this is the first step in what should be a worldwide initiative to crack down on stupid baby names. This is a human rights issue. What names are included in this list? Names that no child should be called. Ever. They include: Scrotum, Terminator, USNAVY, Facebook, Harry Potter, James Bond, Rambo, Circumcision, Virgin, Hitler, Email, Burger King, Christmas Day, Robocop and Rolling Stone.

Now, maybe I’m old fashioned but who the hell would name their kid Circumcision? “Hi, this is my son Circumcision Burger King Tomas”. The fact that these names appeared on the list implies that someone actually named their son Scrotum and Facebook. My nickname of Jack was hell growing up. Do you know how many jokes you can make from the word Jack? But at least my name wasn’t Hitler Tomas. Imagine if you were to go through life named Virgin. Just try getting laid with a name like that. The only name on the list I think should be OK is Robocop. No one is going to mess with a kid named Robocop.

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