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Taco Bell Gets Healthy

In the annals of bad food based on Latino cuisine there are few places as terrible as Taco Bell. I mean, what the hell is a Mexican pizza? It’s nonsense. Plus it’s really bad for you. Like, I think we’re all going to die of cancer because of it. In an attempt to try and appeal to the hipstery crowd that cares about what goes into their food, Taco Bell is going health conscious. They will be eliminating high fructose corn syrup, “unsustainable” palm oil, and trans fats by the end of the year and artificial preservatives by 2017. No one I know who cares about their food not having HFCS in it would ever eat at Taco Bell. It is the worst of the worst of crappy fast food, no matter what they do to it.

But one thing will not change no matter how healthy they try and make it and that’s how much of a bastardization it is of Mexican cuisine. I’m not one of those people that think that Tex-Mex food is “inauthentic” in and of itself. It is authentic to the cuisine of Mexican-Americans in Texas. But Taco Bell is something else entirely. It is a kind of ugly mush made of faux meat, hot sauce, and despair. So, you go ahead and try this new healthy Taco Bell. I’ll stay away.

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