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This Latin Life: Terrible Daycare, Translating The Internet, And Hemingway Bars


Welcome to “This Latin Life,” a recurring feature in which we bring you the news from south of the border in quick, funny nugget form. Mmm, nuggets…

In Argentina, the “Crear” nursery is being investigated for the way it handled the removal of a 3-year-old child whose parents were behind on their payments. And when I say “removal,” I mean, the daycare pinned a bill for $35 dollars to the child and then kicked her out, unsupervised, where she ended up on the bus, like a homeless carrier pigeon. If you ask me, this nursery has figured out the best way to prepare children for the real world, where colleges demand money, and parents won’t always be there to help. Here’s advice from Wall Street: Get a job, kid! I’m sure there plenty of sweatshops in the area willing to help you get back on track. But seriously, this isn’t funny. [Hispanically Speaking]

When it comes to fining McDonald’s because of something questionable in their meals (like, say, band-aids, hairs, or any number of love fluids), their famous toys would probably be the last thing you’d expect them to be punished for. Well, Brazil has done just that (fining Micky Deez roughly 1.77 million US), saying the inclusion of the pointless trinkets helps reinforce negative eating habits with children. I couldn’t agree more with Brazil. Children need to learn to enjoy junk food for the sake of eating junk food. If anything, McDonald’s should replace their Happy Meal with an early-bird style Hangover Meal. They could include adult “toys,” like morning after pills or Emergen-C, and throw all of that stuff into a barf bag (which they kind of already do). If they did that, I’d eat there every morning (like I kind of already do). [Fox Latino]

Have you heard of the native Guatemalan Luis von Ahn? He wants us to help him translate the entire internet into the world’s more common languages. The goal is that by standardizing the languages used, future generations from all over the world will easily be able to access whatever information their heart desires. Maybe they’ll want to find the great works of Pablo Neurda. Or maybe they’ll want to look up good old-fashioned Yugoslavian wicker-man porn. If you want to take part in this noble cause, head on over to duolingo.com, and help language unite the world wide web, the way the euro helped unite Europe. [Translating the web]

Ernest Goes to Cuba

Not too long ago, Presidente Obama helped ease restrictions on U.S. citizens who wanted to travel to Cuba. Continuing the effort to smooth US-Cuban relations, Washington DC has opened a bar honoring one of Cuba’s more famous residents: Ernest Hemingway. Considering Ernie was a suicidal, alcoholic womanizer, I feel like most DC politicians will feel quite at home in this new establishment. I don’t want you to blow your top here, but just so you know, at this point you’d probably have an easier time actually getting into Cuba than getting into the themed bar. It’s only been open on 3 occasions, and it’s invite only for now. [Hemmingway Bar]

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