2011 was a great year for Tu Vez. We covered a lot of ground and we’re excited about the questions 2012 will bring. What celebrity(ies) will lose their career because of a racist rant? Will any Latino will fill the big headed void left by George Lopez’s absence? In which South American country will the ghostly apparition of Steve Jobs appear [ed. note: our money's on Peru]? With all that excitement too look forward to, we figured we’d take a look at some of the more important stories This Latin Life covered in 2011. Enjoy!
In what could be considered an upset, Mexico’s president – Felipe Calderón – failed to make Forbes’ 2011 Most Powerful list. In what could be considered upsetting, Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán made the list…again. Ranked at number 55, El Chapo is nestled somewhere between BIll Clinton and Apple’s new CEO Tim Cook. No word on where el presidente placed overall, but I’m sure he’s listed somewhere between Wile E. Coyote and one of Justin Bieber’s fatherless children. Don’t worry Felipe, based on how well Mexico is doing, I’m sure companies like Napster or Enron will have openings for your kind of leadership!
This past year, Diana Nyad, 61, attempted to swim the 103 miles from Cuba to Florida. Though incomplete, some saw her endeavor as a heroic triumph. If you ask me, she’s found the best way to illegally enter another country. Through sport, Nyad has made border crossing look like a testament to the human spirit. Sure, you can try to jump a border fence, but right-wingers are just going to shoot at you in the name of freedom. So try doing it Olympic style. Those crazed, anti-immigration minutemen will put down their guns, beers and first-cousins to cheer you on as you pole vault your way to the land of opportunity and prosperity … Canada.
This past August marked the one-year anniversary of the Chilean mine collapse, in which 33 miners spent 69 days in the hole. Sixty-nine days in the hole? What is this, an inspirational story or a porno? Well there is a movie in the works, so why can’t it be both? Speaking of being in the hole, most of the miners are currently broke or unemployed. How much money they’ll get out of the settlement remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: I haven’t seen this many poor Latinos since Menudo called it quits.
Gone are the days of Jorge Luis Borges drinking tea and writing in his note book. Here are the days of arch support? Thanks to Nike, the Cafe Richmond – a legendary Buenos Aires cafe – is being converted into a franchised shoe store! Though Nike promised to maintain the integrity of the building’s landmark facade, that didn’t stop the company from gutting the interior of the historical building Monday morning. This cultural abortion proves the old saying, “commercialism begins at Nike.” Though residents of Buenos Aires have created petitions of protest, it should be noted that if they scare Nike away, half of the children in that country will be out of a job. Totally kidding, Nike. Send usfree stuff.
Talk about a switch. In my experience, it’s usually the person with implants who gets paid for tying people up! But seriously, as abductions occur with greater frequency in Mexico, citizens are looking to the company Xega for subdermal GPS chip implantation. In the event of kidnapping, the company claims its doohickey can effectively pinpoint your terrified, and probably soiled location. Also noteworthy, though American engineers have warned the device probably won’t work inside the human body, over 10,000 Mexicans have had the chips installed. Oh well, who can honestly say they haven’t put something inside their body that ended up not working out?