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Tu Vez Love Advice: Selena Gomez


Selena, mija, have a seat. You may be wondering why we decided to write this bit of love advice for you. First of all, let me say that we all love you hear at Tu Vez. This is a safe place. But there is something that we’ve been reading that we find alarming. You’ve been seen around with Justin Bieber again at Coachella. You’ve been spotted getting coffee or meeting up at each other’s studios as well. We just want to kindly ask you to cut it out. It’s not good for you, Selena. If you looked up the word pendejo in a Spanish dictionary there would be a picture of Justin Bieber. The guy is an entire Home Depot full of tools. You can do better. You are a smart, beautiful girl, with lots of ambition and a diligent work ethic. You are the kind of Latina star we want out there representing us. But it’s no coincidence that every time you see Bieber you start drinking again. Hell, that’s the only way anyone could stand to be around him. I’d have to get drunk, shoot up some smack, and huff some glue just to keep from punching him. So, please Selena, listen to your tios at Tu Vez and give it up. Find yourself a nice boy to settle down with and forget about that comé mierda Bieber. Do it for us, but most importantly do it for yourself.

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