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Jordan McCabe: Twelve Year Old Basketball Star/Future Dissapointment To Dad.

The kid in this video is named Jordan McCabe. Jordan, a 12-year-old, can play basketball really, really, well. Driven by his father, Captain Soul Patch, he’s been practicing 2 hours everyday since he was a sperm. The kid can dribble and shoot like a madman.

But, really, let’s think about this for a second. Most of what he does in this video are dribbling tricks and crazy shots from extreme areas of the court. He is by himself and there is no defense on him except for the cameraman (judging from the cameramen we know, he is probably 45 and weighs 250 pounds). So what exactly is this kid’s dad training him for? The Harlem Globetrotters? Certainly not the NBA. We’re pretty sure that if he tried that crap with Kobe, he’d get his ass kicked.

The dad is obviously one of those crazed sports parents that push and exploit their kids to live out some unrealized fantasy. Inevitably these kids either burn out before they can reach their potential or their parents’ exploitation screws up their careers. In a few years you will probably see Jordan doing tricks in the subway with a Nerf hoop-and-ball set for quarters.

Hey Kid! Take your ball, aim for the soul patch and run!

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