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Man Attacks Dude With A Machete At a Jersey Chicken Joint

Holy insanity, Batman! Three dudes– two of them Hispanic– in Paterson, New Jersey viciously attacked a man with a machete at a chicken fast food establishment named U.S. Chicken for…well, for no real valid reason whatsoever! According to Primer Impacto, that Peabody-worthy Univision news program, Omar Villolta, Joel Gomez, and Tyrese Seagers were captured by the restaurant’s security camera beating the living crap out of the patrons. The second victim shown had the misfortune of being machete’d. The motive behind the attacks is unknown though we guess it might have something to do with a dispute over blue, chemically-pure crystal meth

It’s things like these, New Jersey, that give your state such a crappy rep. Also, U.S. Chicken now overtook Breaking Bad’s Pollos Hermanos as the worst chicken joint in America.


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