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Santa Is Getting A Lump Of Fail This Christmas

Were kids easier to impress back in the day? We remember how completely blown away we were by Santa’s village at the mall. There was usually a big Santa house, some creepy animatronic reindeer, and maybe a dwarf or hot chick dressed like an elf. Plus, there was Santa, the guy with magic powers who brought you toys! What could be more awesome than that? Kids today need more of a bang, what with their internets and their Justin Biebers. It’s not enough that a magical fat man that drives a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer is right in front of you. No, you need more.

That’s when stuff like this video happens. Some mall had the bright idea of having Santa repel from an upper level down to Santa’s village. This raises a lot of questions. Why would Santa be repelling at all? We seriously doubt that a 1200 year old saint does much rock climbing. He has the ability to fly with the help of the reindeer, so he would never risk doing that. Or better yet, he’d take the escalator. Plus, does the parolee or community theater actor you have playing Santa really have the training to do this? The answer is no.

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