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Behold The Taco Bell Waffle Taco

Taco Bell, that bastion of Mexican food like mom used to make, is rolling out a breakfast menu next month guaranteed to give you the runs for three days. The fast food giant will launch the menu March 27th to satisfy hangover cravings and cause type-2 diabetes all over our great land. You will be able to buy a “crunch wrap”, essentially a hashbrown brick with sausage and eggs in a tortilla. There will also be cinnamon buns that I guess are supposed to be like churros, maybe? But the flagship item on the menu is the waffle taco. What in the name of all that is holy is that, you may ask? Well, it’s a waffle folded in half to make a “taco” and then filled with eggs, sausage or bacon, and topped off with maple syrup. If ever there was a dish that was custom made to appeal to potheads and the morbidly obese it’s the waffle taco.

The thing I find amusing is that Taco Bell has dropped all pretense of trying to be a Mexican food place with these items. Remember back when they tried to convince everyone that they were a quick and cheap fix for real Mexican cooking? They sold us this lie with their communist chihuahuas and hot taco sauce. I guess after you roll out a taco made with a Dorito shell there is no going back. When this item comes out I will try it and report back. Yes, dear reader, I’m willing to do horrible things to my colon in order to keep you better informed. Stay tuned…

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