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Christopher Columbus Caused Syphilis Worldwide

We’ve written at length about what a total a-hole Christopher Columbus was. Every time this author walks past the huge statue of him in New York’s Columbus circle, I want to tear it down. The devastating effect he had in the New World is easy to see, what with the genocide and all. What is less well known is the negative impact he had on the Old World. Traditionally, the narrative is that Europe only benefited from their contact with the Americas. While it’s true that tons of gold, silver, and agriculture poured into Europe from the New World, they also got the clap. New evidence seems to show that Columbus’ crew are the main culprits of the worldwide scourge of syphilis.

Scientists studying the remains of pre-Colombian natives in the Antilles have found evidence of a proto-syphilis. When Columbus’ boys hit the beaches, they raped everyone in sight. It seems that the pathogen evolved in these new hosts into modern syphilis. The first outbreak of the disease in Europe was in 1495, only three years after Columbus’ voyage of douchebaggery and murder. The sailors then spread the disease worldwide in further voyages of rape and wenching. It’s similar to what happened with HIV in the early 80’s, when Patient 0, a very promiscuous airline steward, spread HIV all over the United States, Canada, and Europe.

So, on top of the slaughter of the Taino Indians, the introduction of deadly diseases to the natives, and opening the floodgates of destruction that Columbus’ voyage unleashed, it’s also the reason so many people have done the walk of shame to get a penicillin shot. Thanks, jerk.

Via Science Daily.

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