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Here Are The Greatest Hispanic Facial Hairs Of All Time

One of the secondary sexual indicators in men is facial hair. For example, just look at the Movember movement. It alerts everyone around them that they have gone through puberty and have a decent bit of testosterone. It’s no wonder that many of the greatest leaders and artists in history have had facial hair. Especially among us macho driven Hispanics, we respect a man that can grow a decent bit of facial foliage. The ladies like a man with facial hair too. It cues them into how manly he is, and whether they admit it or not, this turns them on. With that said, here are some of our favorite historical figures that rocked the facial hair:

Fidel Castro

Was there any doubt he’d be at the top of the list? Love him or hate him, there is no denying that beard. It’s perfect. It is the archetype to which all other beards are compared. Castro has worn the beard since his merry band of guerrillas were living up in the mountains during the Cuban Revolution. In fact, his 26 of July group was known as los barbudos (the bearded ones). You might wonder why Che isn’t on this list, but the truth is his beard was sub-par. It was patchy and uneven, which may be OK with the hipsters that wear Che on their shirts, but it’s not OK with us.

Salvador Dali

He’s not a politician, but there is no denying Dali was the leader of the surrealist school of art. What can you say about his moustache? It defies all reason and logic. How did he get it to stick out like that? Is it wax? Cement? No one knows. Dali claimed he used his moustache as a radio antenna to contact men from outer space. It’s a good thing ol’ Sal could paint or else they would have locked his ass up quick.

Emiliano Zapata and Pancho Villa

The two moustaches that led the Mexican revolution. There is no denying the power of these two men and their ‘staches. Pancho Villa was short and stocky and Zapata was thinner and taller, but their moustaches were equally thick and luxurious. These lip caterpillars struck terror into the heart of Mexican dictator Porfirio Diaz. Who can blame him? If you saw those twin handlebars coming at you with guns blazing, you’d probably wet yourself.

Daniel Ortega

Nicaragua’s own Magnum P.I. Ortega has ruled Nicaragua on and off since the 80’s, when his Sandinista forces ousted the American backed dictator. Just like Fidel, this commie knows how to grow some stubble. Actually if you think about it, most of Communism’s great leaders have had facial hair: Castro, Che, Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin,Trotsky…makes you think.

Jose Marti

Cuba’s apostle of freedom and serious moustache enthusiast. Freddy Mercury himself couldn’t have grown a better bigote than old Joe Marti. Marti is famous for both his poetry and his writings against Spanish tyranny. He’s considered the father of Cuba, and who wouldn’t want a dad with ‘stache like that? Marti suffered from a phenomenon in which the more hair he lost on his head, the thicker his moustache got. Maybe he was taking the hair that fell into the sink and gluing it to his face?

Honorable Mention: Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico

We know, he’s not Hispanic. He did rule as Mexico’s emperor though, and there is no denying the magnificence of that thing that lived on his face. It’s like a shaggy dog, a mop, and God’s own sunshine got together and made a beard so splendid it made the birds sing. Too bad they later shot him in his pretty whiskered face.

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