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Latino Kids Consume The Most Media. Here Are Some Educational Choices.

A recent study found that Black and Hispanic kids consume more media than white kids. This includes TV, Internet, and video games. Hispanic kids between the ages of 8 and 18, spend 13 hours a day being exposed to some form of media. White kids rack up a paltry 8 hours of TV and Internet time. Childhood expert types worry that these kiddos are not watching enough quality programming. 13 hours of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians and The Real Housewives of Atlanta a day will rot anyone’s brain. Sure, there is still Sesame Street with good old Luis and Dora the Explorer is great, but there really needs to be more. Luckily, the child psychology and development experts at the Tu Vez Institute For Making Shorties Un-stupid has a few ideas for TV shows and websites.

Get Through High School Without Getting Pregnant

This is an online flash game. You play a young Latina and you have to try and get to class while avoiding the advances of eager dudes in the hallway. If you end up playing the “just the tip” mini game, you will probably lose.

El Cucko Math Hour

This is a math tutorial show, in which kids are taught basic math skills by the psychotic rooster monster we were threatened with as children. This diabolical creature was invoked whenever we didn’t want to eat our vegetables, finish our homework, etc. If a kid gets an answer wrong El Cucko pecks them on the head. It’s negative reinforcement, but it is guaranteed to raise test scores.

Panchito the Air Conditioning Repairman

Let’s face it, Latino or White, not all kids are geniuses. Some just need to learn a decent trade so they don’t end up working in fast food. Panchito and his trusty sidekick Woofo the AC dog teach the basics of air conditioning and heating maintenance and repair.

Al Arcoiris De Libros

Bring back Reading Rainbow, only this time it can be hosted by Edward James Olmos. Instead of reading, Mr. Peebles Goes to the Zoo or whatever, the kids read awesome books. Perhaps the graphic novel where Magneto rips out all of Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton or Juiced by Jose Canseco. But don’t take our word for it. Duh duh Dun!

Reading Comprehension Through Dead Space 3

This is actually a plug-in for the Xbox. If the kids read and answer 10 questions from the PSAT’s verbal section correctly, they get 5 minutes of Dead Space 3 playtime. If you want to savagely murder alien zombies, you’d better read that paragraph about hot air ballooning carefully.

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