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Minorities Now Majority In Washington D.C. Area

The Washington Post released an article today saying that minorities have become the majority in the DC region. According to new census data, “Chocolate City” is currently over 50 percent non-white in its population, the most famous resident of color being Barack Obama (If you haven’t heard of him, he’s the son of an immigrant who took a white man’s job back in 2008). Apparently the United States is finally living up to that whole “melting pot” stereotype that was thrust upon it back in the late 1800’s; you know, when Ellis Island opened its arms to immigrants of all backgrounds – including “whites”.

While the statistics indicate what Glen Beck has been afraid of for years, that minority populations will continue to increase, one can’t help but question the title of the article which states that “minorities” who make up the “majority” are still a “minority”. This question becomes more relevant when you consider that roughly 21 percent of the world’s population is of Anglo heritage – meaning that whites are technically a minority throughout the world.

Also, I feel like referring to groups of people as “minorities” is wrong, for some reason. Maybe it’s because the last time we referred to a group of people as something less than what they actually were, we called it the Three-Fifths Compromise. Those of us who made it past 6th grade history saw how that turned out.

Contrary to popular belief, however, the change in population has less to do with immigration and more to do with the the trouble minorities have keeping it in their pants. That’s right, while the majority of whites in the DC area are passing their childbearing years, they’ve left the door open for Hispanics and Asians to lay enough pipe to propel them into the lead. And can you blame people for wanting to have a child with a year round tan? Have you seen how sexy we minorities are?

Lets get serious, though. As affluent members of society (whites) continue to gentrify cheap neighborhoods, hopefully they’ll keep an eye out and realize their numbers are dwindling on the whole. And that’s not a bad thing, it’ll just mean that the ethnics will have returned the favor by gentrifying the white man’s DNA, resulting a world of one, homogeneous race. And hopefully then, when we’re all the same color, we will learn to hate people for the content of their character and not by the color of their skin.

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