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New “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Trailer Looks Weird

The second trailer for the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film came out today and it looks…well…strange. Or rather I should say that the turtles look strange and by strange I mean utterly terrifying. Maybe it’s because I grew up on the old live action movies and the comic books but I don’t want my turtles to look like lumpy green turds. I’ll forgive the fact that they cast Megan Fox as April O’Niel. I’ll even look the other way that the movie is produced by Michael Bay, the biggest hack in Hollywood. But I can’t get over how the turtles look especially since you get a really good look at them in this trailer. At least there is some humor and sewer skateboarding in this trailer. Judging from the last one I thought that the movie was going to be way too serious. While the ones from the early 90’s were too goofy, you need some humor. After all a group of mutant turtles with ninja skills is a silly premise and can only be so gritty.

I am starting a Kickstarter campaign to finance a Latino version called Adolescent Radioactive Samurai Tortugas. Danny Trejo would play Slicer, the evil Shredder character. They tortugas will be voiced by Diego Luna, Benicio Del Toro, Gabriel Garcia Bernal, and Andy Garcia. Instead of naming them after Renaissance painters we’ll call them Velasquez, Rivera, Orozco, and El Greco. What do you think? I think it will sell really well to the Latino market.

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