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Tu Vez’s Tips On Being Irish For Latinos On St. Patty’s Day

Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s day! The day when we commemorate the memory of a great Irish saint by drinking to excess. They say that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s day. Lord knows, there is always one a-hole in your office that will pinch you if you don’t wear green. Having to temporarily shift your ethnic identity for the day can be disorienting. So, we thought we’d offer you some tips on how to manage your new Irish-Latino identity.

-Put some green food coloring in your tequila.

-Corn beef hash tastes better if you pour Cholula on it. Lot’s of Cholula.

-Remember, they are full of Catholic guilt too. This can bring you together.

-Dye you’re hair red. Not that unnatural purple-red your Tia Sylvia dyed her hair, but a normal ginger-red.

-Arroz con Irish stew?

-You both like futbol.

-You both like getting into fistfights about futbol.

-Listen to House of Pain’s Jump Around a few times to get the right vibe. It will serve your ass like John McEnroe.

-Pretend you don’t hate the Red Sox. Just for today, act like you don’t wish a meteor would fall from heaven and crush the Big Green Monster.

-You can get a side of plantano maduros with that steak and kidney pie. Best not to think about the kidney part.

-At the end of the night, everyone’s puke is the same color: green. Remember that.

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